lent

Right now is my favorite time of the day.  I am currently sitting in my living room under a large blanket, my best friend beside me laughing about articles on Facebook while we both drink our daily tea. This is the dream.  I love this time of the day because it is one of the only times to sit and be still.  Being in this new present season of lent is one reason why I am up at this hour anyways.  I love how the Lord calls us into a time of rest often.  This year I decided not to give up my annual no sweet tea and sweets but instead dive into a season that pulls me into a place where I am overwhelmed with what Jesus has in store to teach me.  This season is all about a time to stop.  A time to stop and consider the things I often forget: my sins and my returning to the cross.  A time to reflect of the fallen state of my heart and my gaping need for a Savior.  A time to return and kneeling daily at the cross, a time of repentance and mourning the depths and reality of my own heart, remembering the joy that Jesus has lavished on me through the cross and His resurrection. So, for lent I have decided to wake up in the mornings a lot earlier than more normal 10:00 routine to spend time intimately and restfully in Scripture and in prayer. Prayer has been something that the Lord has been awakening my heart to lately.  Prayer is this ushering into communion with the Father.  Prayer draws us in closer to the character and the heart of Jesus to that we might see our need and when we see that need our desires would be conformed to Christ.  Prayer ushers us into a time where our selfishness is put to rest and we are embraced with the desires of Jesus and love of Jesus.  Prayer allows us to begin to think His thoughts after Him: to desire the things he desires, to love the things he loves.
I pray that this time in lent would be shaped into time like that displayed in Mark. "And in the morning, a great while before day, Jesus rose and went out to a lonely place and there he prayed".  This is what Jesus life looked like and was rooted upon.  Separating Himself from the world to dive into prayer with the Father.  Psalm 63 is one of my favorite Psalms and it starts with a prayer that breaks me to my core every time.  A prayer that is fully reliant on all that Jesus is.  "You, God, are my God.  Earnestly I seek you.  I thirst for you; my whole being longs for you in a dry and parched land where there is no water.  With you I am fully satisfied". 
Pray-ers are all over Scripture.  New and Old Testament.  Moses, Elijah, Hannah, David, Hosea, Paul, Mary.  All of these people fall on their faces at the feet of Jesus begging for Psalm 63:1 to overwhelm them.  That with their whole being they would long and thirst for the goodness and fullness and grace of Jesus.
Prayer invites us into stillness and communion with Jesus that allows Him to reveal to us the persistent Father Savior that he is.  The persistence he has over my sin, the persistence he has over my joys, the persistence he has over my ministry, the persistence he has over death.
You, God, are my God.
Earnestly I seek you,  I thirst for you.
My whole being longs for you in a dry and parched land where there is no water.
With you I am fully satisfied.
I give you thanks for ushering me into this communion with you.
I give you thanks for exploring the depths of my heart and uprooting brokenness and destruction and building in me Your own kingdom.  A holy place where you rest and restore my soul.
Lord.  I thank you for lent.  I thank you for mornings.
Let this time acknowledge my wickedness knowing that You, King over death, has already done all that needs to be done to grant me perfect forgiveness.  I pray that lent would be a season where I take a long hard look at my sin and grieve over it.  Then lock my eyes of the gaze of Jesus who has rescued me!
Let me return to You.  Return to you with joy and with mourning, with celebration and repentance, with my mess that is desperate to be made holy.  God help me to return, return to a place where the cross is it.  The cross is enough.

             For they shall return to me with a whole heart, cries the Lord" Jeremiah 24:7

Stuck on the Forgotten

So often I find myself thinking about the birth of Jesus and being stuck, I mean stuck, on one of the most forgotten people in this scripture. That inn keeper. Having nothing left. No room. No space. No place. No time to help this innocent, tired and scared couple who were soon to bear the Savior. Gosh I am so thankful that The Lord has put this man, or women, on my heart. This inn keeper reminds me of my heart when I was lost. No room for help. No space for anyone other than me. No place for change and no time to take a look at my soul. There I was.
Then came Jesus. Born of a women. In a barn because there was no room for Him.
Then came Jesus. Who made room in my heart to learn. Who made space in my life for redemption. Who took my place.
The birth of this tiny baby who knew just the time and the place that His beloved would run into his arms.
The birth of Jesus would happen no other way. And I am thankful for that. Thankful that he grabbed my heart and made it His,once again, through His own story.

"And she gave birth to her Son, her Firstborn; and she wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room or place for them in the inn" {Luke‬ ‭2‬:‭7‬}

stillness

Rest is the hardest thing for me.  I love to go, go, go and be surrounded by people all the time.  It is what I love.  I am learning though that in this Jesus has been calling out for me to rest.  He has called me to sit.  When I think of rest I think of the Sabbath.  But the Sabbath is often difficult for me to understand.  Is it a time where I feel obligated to sit down, or dread not doing something else.  Or do I greet the Sabbath with anticipation and see this gift that has been given.  I was created and woven together for this gift.  The gift of rest and a stillness.  A stillness that allows me to enter into a space with   Jesus that is intimate and full.  I find myself running from this often because when I stop that is when I am confronted with my heart.  I am confronted with my brokenness, my fears, and my doubts.  But it is then when I lean in the closest to a God who is so much bigger than that.  That is when I am in desperate need to rest in this beautiful gift of stillness.  A time to be intimate and immerse myself with Christ.  A time to sit at his feet and be taught.  A time to be in awe of the cross.  A time to be overwhelmed by the fact that He delights in me.  What a beautiful thing this is.  That we have a God who treasures our lost heart and goes buck wild when all I do is turn and sit with Him.
I pray that I would be consumed by stillness and intimacy with Him.  Consumed by a love that is deeper and wider than my crazy heart.  Consumed by grace that has overwhelmed my life.  Consumed by intimacy with a King who calls me His beloved.
Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath". 
                                               Mark 2:28

Holy Spirit

There's nothing worth more, that could ever come close, nothing can compare; Your our living hope. Your presence.
I've tasted and seen of the sweetest of loves, where my heart becomes free, and my shame is undone.
Your Presence.

Holy Spirit you are welcome here.
Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere your glory God is what our hearts long for.
To be overcome by Your presence Lord.
Your presence.

Let us become more aware of Your Presence, let us experience the glory of your goodness.

amen.


I cling to you.  My spirit is now Yours Jesus.  I beg you to overwhelm me.  Overwhelm me with Your presence, Your grace, Your divine love and Your holiness.  Overwhelm me by the cross.
Remind me Jesus that you are good.  Remind me everyday Jesus that you walked out of a grave to call me Yours for eternity.
Remind me that your glory is good.  Your glory is wrapped with power yet love.  Strength yet tenderness.  Your glory leaves me in awe.  Something I can't grasp, yet what my heart clings to.  You and only You.
Let your Spirit be just that.  HOLY.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ilaah976sw

His whisper got pretty dang loud

This past month, His whisper got pretty dang loud in my world. Being in a place that is surrounded by Jesus through every person, every piece of creation and every moment He just became real. Real in a way that has never been real to me before. The whisper that stills my heart of His love and grace become a loud and joyful noise all around me this past month. Instead of a quiet voice, I heard him begging on my behalf right in front of my face to sit with Him. Worship Him. Yearn for Him. Work with Him. Be obedient to Him.
Jesus was revealed to me in so many new ways.
Never have I taken the time to pray this simple yet honest prayer: Jesus, allow me to see myself the way you see me. Show me the depths of my own heart.
This simple prayer created a new presence of Jesus in my life. A presence that was Jesus personality wrapped into my own. This revelation allowed me to rejoice in every detail of my day. Allowing The Lord to enter the depths of my messed up heart and reveal to me the truths and the wirings of my life created a new spirit. A spirit that was only consumed by the Holy Spirit. A spirit that was hungry to serve with passion, love with grace and learn with eagerness.

Through this month, learning was a new experience as well. Sitting in awe of the word of The Lord and asking another simple prayer:
open my ears, my heart and my eyes to what you want me to see from You in Your word.
Another simple task that The Lord rejoiced in with me. Truths in scripture that were hidden all along because I wasn't ready to fully grasp it's truth for my life. Until this month. Some of my favorite scripture read in bible study, yet I was taken deeper into nooks and corners of those stories that had never captured my heart before.

a simple whisper before being this: "Hannah I LOVE you" was now taken to a new depth as well this month. Seeing that His love is also wrapped around His holiness. To accept his love and live in awe of His holiness each day. To wake up and die to myself to experience to majesty of Jesus. I can't experience the full love of Jesus without accepting the full holiness of Jesus. He is a father and a King. A compassionate God and a jealous God. He is tender yet strong. These two characteristics put together painted a picture of Jesus like never before.
All of this, Jesus taught me in the greatest month of my life. Serving alongside friends who fight for the love of Jesus and rejoice with each other in His truth and plan for us. Serving in a kitchen, behind the scenes so that kids could experience a family meal for the first time and see the greatest love that Jesus has for them. What a privilege to sit back and watch Jesus rescue 506 high schoolers this month at Crooked Creek Ranch in Fraser Colorado.
We worked hard. Played hard. Built friendships. Learned a lot. Worshipped like never before.  Laughed a lot. Cried some. Did some pretty crazy things.
All of this centered around one thing.
This crazy redeeming love of Jesus.

{Holy Spirit you are welcome here.  Come flood this place, and fill the atmosphere.  Your glory God is what our hearts long for.  To be overcome by Your presence Lord} 

Colorado,
i miss you already.  never did I expect for you to grab my heart to fast and so tightly.  Getting to experience this life changing month alongside my best friend Sarah was incredible.  Going up the mountain was pretty dang hard, but never did I think I would find myself in tears coming back down.  You rocked my world and don't you worry, Ill be back soon.  

adventurous and living God

I have been so busy going from place to place I haven’t had time to just sit and think about all the crazy awesome places that I have been this summer.  Being at the beach with my family for a few days has given me some time to reflect on how Jesus has worked through me in such a short amount of time yet has worked in large measures.  My first trip this summer was life changing to say the least.  My home church, college group, went to Honduras.  We traveled there and began the process of building a church for a local village that was in need of a space to worship.  When you are in the comfort of your own home and even your own country, it’s hard to imagine what life would be life anywhere else.  That is…until you witness it first hand.  Seeing life in a new light as it was shown in Honduras is the hardest thing to describe.  Yes, it is full of poverty.  But when our group sat down the last night to talk about our experiences and our thoughts about our time there, we realized something that is hard to grasp back home.  There are three types of poverty: material poverty, community poverty and spiritual poverty.  Honduras lacks in material poverty.  From the every day essential to us being a bathroom, to the lack of clothes, food, and shelter.  These things are just that to them…things.  They see these things as extras.  As far as community and spiritual poverty, Honduras has abundant life.  Witnessing people love of each other and us so well is amazing.  They have nothing, yet they rejoice in the fact that they have each other and especially that they have a relationship with the Lord.  Life in Honduras is very different, yet I find myself desperate to go back.  We are desperate for a life that is full of joy.  While in Honduras I found myself encountering Jesus in ways that might be a little more rare in the states.  When I was building the church we were working on, I found myself marking cement blocks to be cut, while at the same time in deep prayer for the people who will one day stand in the very spot I was working and fall on their knees and give their life to Jesus.  I also encountered the love of Jesus through the faces of the children in the village we were working.  A simple piggyback ride lit up a child’s face.  When a little beautiful creation comes running from across an open field into your arms looking for comfort and someone to love on them and play with them, there is no better picture of Jesus.  Honduras wrecked my heart in ways I never knew existed.  Jesus truly does show up in the most unexpected places and in the sweetest faces.  I pray everyday that my sweet friends in Honduras know that they are loved beyond belief, boldly prayed for everyday, and little miracles to me and everyone who has witnesses the joy and love of Honduras. 

the quiet one, yet loves to look at all the cute pictures that he takes

Deuteronomy 11:10-12

Our Team 

My favorite fútbol team

my wild child Anderson

After Honduras and a few weeks of work back home, it was time to head to one of the greatest places on earth.  YOUNGLIFE CAMP.  Western Wake Younglife spent the best week on our lives at Sharptop Cove in Jasper Georgia.  I could not ask for a better week than a week with some crazy fun high school kids at a camp that allows them to escape the pressures and pain of day to day struggles and be released into this new atmosphere full of adventure, fun and learning.  Getting to lead the BEST high school, Middle Creek High School, was so great! From a muddy obstacle course, ropes course, jumping off a telephone pole to hit a bell, a hike, volleyball tournament, zip lining, the hoedown, formal night, and pool Olympics we had a blast.  Its amazing to hear that after all that exciting stuff though, the kids favorite parts of the week were the times in club, real life, cabin time and just hanging out with their leaders.  This was the time when they got to hear the great truth of the gospel.  When they were shown how life with Jesus could change the hardest heart and the messiest of lives and give them full and abundant life with a God who is crazy about them.  Watching my high school friends have the time of their lives this past week truly shows that we have a God who is adventurous and one who shows up in the midst of any situation.  Getting to lead alongside my best friends just adds to the joy of this ministry.  Waking up every morning and sitting on the porch while spending time with Jesus and looking next to you and seeing your closest friends digging into His word is encouraging in it self.  The Lord works in some pretty crazy ways.  One thing I love about camp is the opportunity to talk with your kids one on one.  One night, after we had heard to truth about the cross and had cabin time I realized one of the girls was still being quiet.  She had not opened up as most girls had that week during cabin time.  I watched as she went to the bathroom and then I followed.  There, I found a sixteen year old weeping in the corner.  We decided to go on a walk that night.  That is when she opened up.  Telling me the struggles and the pains of her life.  But it was then, when she told me that she realized that Jesus was the part of her life that she was missing.  It was then that we spent the next hour talking about the mystery and the grace and truth of Jesus.  The thing that happened next shows that God shows up anywhere.  By this time we had gone to a coffee bar they had set up outside that night for campers who wanted to talk more.  In that moment my sweet friend didn’t want to do life alone anymore.  She sat down her coffee, got out of the rocking chair and fell to her knees crying out to a God who she desperately wanted in her life.  My friend started a new life as a new creation with the Creator that night.  Her brokenness and emptiness was no longer hers.  Watching a hurting and broken teen fall on her knees and giving everything to a God that she realized loved her through it all, just shows that Jesus is working all around.  It also shows me that the boldness of the Holy Spirit is captivating.  It takes a lot for a sixteen year old to fall on their knees in front of strangers at a coffee bar.  That’s not an everyday sight.  But it is a sure sign of a living God. 

ropes course was our favorite

my main homie Anna Grace, also known as "AG"

the best team eva

sharing with my high school friends the story of how Jesus captured my heart

This next weekend I leave for Colorado.  I am working for a month at a Younglife camp called Crooked Creek. My sweet friend has new life because of the truth that was poured into her at camp.  I am so grateful that I get to spend a month serving campers as they play and run and hike and eat, but most importantly serving them as they experience the love and grace of Jesus.  Getting to do this along side my best friend Sarah will be a month I know will change so many others and me from the inside out.  I pray that I have the patience when I am tired to push through for those who are weary and broken in need of Jesus to rescue them.  I pray that I have strength when I am weak to push through for those who are wondering and lost.  I pray that I have boldness when I am timid to push through for those who are eager for that moment when they meet the Savior.  

and hey, I guess the view wont be that bad for a month!! 

 

favorite place at every Younglife Camp!!

one year

I can't believe that this school year is already coming to an end.  WHAT THE HECK. I feel like I just moved in the other day and that I have finally made my bed for the first time (sorry mom).
I honestly could not have asked for a better year.  When people say that college is the best time of your life...they are not lying.  I want to go back and relive everything.
I can't even think about everything I have done.
I have made the best friends anyone could ask for.  Friends who push each other everyday to the Lord. Push each other to be the best.  I have laughed a lot, cried some, and had the best conversations with my friends and wont trade them for the world.

I finished my first year as a member of the WOLFPACK.  ahhhh. Hard but so rewarding.  I started off as a Sport Management major and am now in Public Relation Communication and Non-Profit work.  Crazy the path that Jesus led me on to get to where I am and I had no idea this was the plan for me.  School is defiantly hard and if I had one consistent prayer request this year it was that I stayed obedient in my school work.  I did the best I could and found a major and a path that I am so excited about.

I BECAME A YOUNGLIFE LEADER.  I am offically a creek crazy with the Middle Creek Mustangs.  I love my team, my new friends and every part about being a leader.  The Lord has already shown up and showed out in my life through staying grounded in my ministry only in Him.  Being filled with his Word so that I can pour out His life through mine to these high schoolers.  I am so excited to watch and experience Gods miracles continuing to happen with these sweet people.

And finally, this year I have fallen madly in love with Jesus.  I have found a new relationship with Him and a new life in Him.  I no longer have Him in one shelf of my life but am now completely consumed by His relentless love and pursuit of me. One of my favorite things I have learned this year in all the digging into scripture we have done is that I am running to the feet of Jesus like Mary.  I am eager to sit at His feet and learn, I have run to his feet mourning just as Mary did and I find myself in awe everyday of his majesty yet gentle Spirit that has radically changed my life.  I am now worshiping at the feet of Jesus is a desperate pursuit to have an intimate relationship with him just like Mary did in utter humility.
I am so thankful that this crazy Creator chose me.  Chose me to sit at His throne and gratefully give my life to Him.  He chose me.

"For you are a people holy to God.  Out of all the people on the face of the earth, the Lord has chosen you to be His treasured possession".  Deuteronomy 14:2